Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Life on the Horizon


Media Credit: Tanya Bermudez

Now you see me now you don't but I get that you don't understand me
I see that you have a difficult time with life my brother my sister I want you to know that I get you because I have seen the path of happiness as well as the path of destruction

Destruction is what scares me the most it's the one I don't understand. It's the one that I see before I close my eyes

I don't get as to who you are, what you meant when you left me because there is so much that I myself, don't understand because of the unwithering of nostalgia of life
Life has treated me with kindness, up to a certain point but I don't see the resolution of life within me because of you

From the lies through your mouth to the look in your eyes I don't see how you can function through life if you lie as the great philosopher Immanuel Kant said lying is a moral sin

Forbidden Love of life is the horizon of all good but you see that in itself is called into question when you don't see me. Just one LOVE is the true meaning of life but you don't see that at all, I ask you
Why don't you?
Why question?
Why be?
Why live?
For you are the inspiration of the way I feel but you don't see that through the scratches of life I give the form of writing I know that true perfection can never exist and that my friend is what is f--king wrong with the
place we call society

Monday, June 25, 2007

An internship for Summer '08 at the L.A. Times


Last week I received this email from someone at the Los Angeles Times and it reads as follows:

The Los Angeles Times offers a paid summer internship program. The internship is 10 weeks and starts in mid-June. We place interns throughout the paper -- metro, sports, business, arts & entertainment, etc. We offer hands-on journalism experience. However, little training is provided, so previous newspaper internship experience is preferred.

QUALIFICATIONS: You must be actively working toward a college degree, but graduates may be eligible if you've finished school within six months of the start of the internship. Applicants should have a driver's license and access to a car.

TO APPLY: Please submit a cover letter, a one-page autobiography, a resume, up to 12 samples of your work and a list of three references.

After I read this I was encouged by it. I have been looking for this type of information for a while and hoped that a door will open slightly. I know that the L.A. Times staff is experienced more than I am. However, that doesn't mean I will NOT work my behind off. As this is a slightly opening of the door for me I plan to take advantage of it anyway I can. The deadline is Jan. 1, 2008.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Don't Hand Me a Mirror


Media Credit: Tanya Bermudez

The following poem is titled, "Don't Hand Me a Mirror" and this has to do with me so, it is personal for me like the poem, "She is..." I have stated that this summer I have written and thought of poetry that I have kept in a journal and written in my email. So, I hope that you don't mind...

Don't hand me a mirror because I am imperfect in every way and I can think of ways to which
I am not beautiful whatsoever no matter how many times you say it
I hate to look at myself everyday but unfortunately I see something
that I hate more; my own existent

Don't hand me a mirror because I am afraid to scare off people that I see
What is it about me that I hate the most
Where do I begin?
Where is it that I think is more groteseque about me
For one I've had to fight to exist and forget the words
of those closest to me and I know that I can but I just can't
Every time I see the magazines I see perfection and I think
I should be that way too.

Everyone should see that I am not beautiful
And when someone says that I am beautiful
I think that they're lying to me just to get a high

I think that the word itself is a fake just to be there
Words have a powerful meaning
This is just one of them
I don't tell many people but my disablity
plays into the heart of my emotion of anger
Sometimes I ask God why it happened the way it happened
There are no answered from Him

The other reason is just the way that society
plays a part in what is considered beauty
But I ask you what is Beauty?
I certainly don't consider myself that beauty
I never am

When I saw who I was
I was disappointed at the life that I would lead
I had so much inspirations and so much heartache that
the latter will take over
But sometime I question who I am
and the only reason I isolate myself from others
is the fear of hurting you
of you rejecting me
Do you get it?
Do you understand?

Like the song, says
"That's waiting for me
What I want is to live forever
Not defined by time and space
It's a lonely place
That's what I want

I go round and round just like a circle
I can see a clearer picture
When I touch the ground I come full circle
To my place and I am home
I am home"
That's why I tell you to never hand me a mirror


There will be more of that and there is more. Thank you for letting me express what I feel. Writing is the greatest form of art.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

She is....



Media Credit: Tanya Bermudez

The following is a poem that appeared in the Writer's Anonymous Club Untitled Magazine this past spring. When I wrote this is was only a concept and not intended to be read by me. However, in realizing its importance to me and to other who have struggled with accepting who they are I thought that I should say something; speaking out for those who have not been able to speak. Our voices are the strongest and we as a society, have a right to be heard. In doing so, I also read this at the Spoken Word event on Feb. 15 here at Cerritos College. This was the first time that I was able to express myself through words. So, basically it was my "coming out" moment; so here is the poem "She is...":

Media Credit: Norma

She is the person that at one time faced death
She was afraid that she had taken her last breath
She is the person that was thought that she won't make it
She is the person who thought that was it.

She is the person that saw abuse everyday
She is the person who felt the most betrayed
She is the person that wanted better for her mom
She was just waiting to see when that would come.

She is the person that first fell in love with a woman
but the other wanted a man instead
She was the one who could express what she felt
beacause all that was in her heart was the feeling of guilt.

She wanted to feel what it was like to be complete but,
knowing that there was someone else, she felt that she had to
compete
She is the one that first that she was gay at the age of 16
but, she fel that her life was incomplete

She felt she was different because of her looks, but one
look in the mirror wasn't what it took. For what it took for
her was that she had to know that, that were normal. But
what you didn't know is that the person I'm talking about
is me...My name is Norma!

Monday, June 18, 2007

Been writing poetry while at school


Well, I have been writing a lot of poetry while here at Cerritos College and this is the time that poetry to me has given me the freedom of expression. As I've been attending class here there has been so much that I have walked away with as far as what I have been feeling lately and so, as it goes, I've grabbed and pen and write in a book in the form of poems. I feel good about it and that's all that matters. Well, let see the school is halfway through the summer next week and before you know it the fall semester IS here. And me focusing on getting good grades in my classes. I will share my poetry with you in these blog entry and I would hope you will tell me what you think.
Thanx.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

And you still don't have a MySpace


Last night I got a call from a friend of mine who said, "And you still don't have a MySpace (page)?" I said that I have been tempted to have a MySpace page and I would be lying if I said I haven't. But I honesty told her that I don't need to follow everyone into something that I will not be happy with. I understand that at the moment MySpace, Friendster and Facebook are the popular web sites but soon enough like with anything the craze with soon go away. It is bound to happen.

I know that my friend was calling just to say hi but I also know that she did it just for the fact that she would like to talk to me on MySpace and I find that troublesome. As I am focused on getting my education I look down at people who have nothing better to do than to focus on those who are just wanting to be better in life and MySpace is only a convenience and that is it. She could have picked up the phone much sooner then last night. However, if you haven't read the poem that I wrote as for why I have isolated myself against having "friends" over this is why:

Don't hand me a mirror because I am imperfect in every way and I can think of ways to which
I am not beautiful whatsoever no matter how many times you say it
I hate to look at myself everyday but unfortunately I see something
that I hate more; my own existent

Don't hand me a mirror because I am afraid to scare off people that I see
What is it about me that I hate the most
Where do I begin?
Where is it that I think is more grotesque about me
For one I've had to fight to exist and forget the words
of those closest to me and I know that I can but I just can't
Every time I see the magazines I see perfection and I think
I should be that way too.

Everyone should see that I am not beautiful
And when someone says that I am beautiful
I think that they're lying to me just to get a high

I think that the word itself is a fake just to be there
Words have a powerful meaning
This is just one of them
I don't tell many people but my disability
plays into the heart of my emotion of anger
Sometimes I ask God why it happened the way it happened
There are no answered from Him

The other reason is just the way that society
plays a part in what is considered beauty
But I ask you what is Beauty?
I certainly don't consider myself that beauty
I never am

When I saw who I was
I was disappointed at the life that I would lead
I had so much inspirations and so much heartache that
the latter will take over
But sometime I question who I am
and the only reason I isolate myself from others
is the fear of hurting you
of you rejecting me
Do you get it?
Do you understand?

Like the song, says
"That's waiting for me
What I want is to live forever
Not defined by time and space
It's a lonely place
That's what I want

I go round and round just like a circle
I can see a clearer picture
When I touch the ground I come full circle
To my place and I am home
I am home"
That's why I tell you to never hand me a mirror


I hope you understand.

Monday, June 11, 2007

Someone talked to me while in Hollywood...


I went to Hollywood looking for the magazine Vanity Fair and I found one of the two magazine with Madonna on the cover. Well, I looked at two different newsstands one on Las Palmas and Hollywood and the other at Cahuenga and Hollywood. Won't you know it that I was able to find one copy of the magazine with Madonna and I'm STILL looking for the one with Madonna and Maya Angelou. I tried looking but not no avail. Well, that isn't why I am writing to you; it is because a woman who works at the newsstand said that she noticed I was a huge Madonna fan (duh?) anyway she said that she was glad to see that I got the copy with Madonna. She asked, "Do you know that she's on another cover?" I said yeah I did. She also said that she had noticed I been around before and said that she noticed a previous shirt I was wearing with Madonna on it too.

I told her that I had the opportunity to go to the concert last year during Confessions and she told me that was great and that if that was the first time that I loved Madonna. I just laugh and you know not many people in Hollywood talk to you. They just look at you weird. But I thought that was cool that someone like her talks to those she'd seen before.

That is what I find as a rarity in Hollywood. People can have their noses up in the air while others don't. Also, what I am fascinated about Hollywood is that there is a different air to the place. I like the freedom of walking down the street and just observing the people. The women can act like Paris Hilton. You see them with celebrity-like sunglasses and clothes...I appreciate what I have and I don't seek out to have what celebrities as in the "latest fashion trend." Well, since I didn't find the magazine with Maya Angelou I will seek it out again. I want to find it. I will see if I can.
See ya all.

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

MySpace look and Madonna on the cover


Yesterday I actually looked at the MySpace web site and thought about actually joining those people who have a page for others to look at. So far it hasn't crossed my mind but, I would be lying if I said that I haven't be tempted to have a MySpace page. But then I look at all of the people who have a MySpace page and like any social web site I saw it has a waste of time. I'm better off reading a book anyway. There has been a run-in with MySpace already. My sister got into hot water with my dad over the fact that he found her on MySpace and won't you know it; he told her to delete her profile. That's the other reason why I have refused to have one. But more than anything I have been so inclined to read magazines with Madonna on the cover.


And wouldn't you know it here is Madonna herself on the cover of the July issue of Vanity Fair and face-to-face with poet Maya Angelou. Madonna has done her homework. And her fieldwork. She first visited Malawi in April 2006 after Victoria Keelan, a native Malawian businesswoman, reached out to her because of the work Madonna has done with Spirituality for Kids, a nonprofit organization which aids children in impoverished and devastated areas across the globe. Madonna recalls that Keelan advised, "Look, if you're in the business of helping children, we have over a million orphans here in Malawi and the problem is insane. It's an emergency. And they need your help."


Currently, she is working with film director Nathan Rissman on a documentary which aims not only to heighten awareness and effect change in Africa but also to explore what goes on in the heads and hearts of orphaned children. "I'm making my own discoveries as I go," she says. "You have those great moments of despair and inspiration simultaneously."

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

A tattoo fantasy


I really like tattoos. I always have but as you can see one of the tattoos I really, really, really like is the one that former Spice Girl Melanie Chisholm (aka Sporty Spice)(pictured below) had or has on her back. While the tattoo does take up half her back I think that it is great. Also, as you can see I have a fake tattoo that was used for the journalism conference last year during the Journalism Association of Community College. I liked the tattoo a lot that I kept it on for a day. Incidentally, my sister also has a tattoo of her sign. But my parents went through the roof when they found out during a discussion. I mean it wasn't like she went out to do drugs 'cause my sister knows right from wrong. When she told me that she got a tattoo she wanted my advice as to how to tell my parents. I was like, 'What I'm a suppose to do?' because the fact-of-the-matter was she GOT the tattoo already. So, essentially I couldn't say anything; much less judge her for what she'd done.

As for me the question would be if I WOULD get a tattoo. The answer to that is yes, even as I attend Cerritos College. Yes, and here's why. It is because I think that within tattoo is a form of art just as everything that we do is art. But let me be honest, if I did show my tattoo to my parents the first thing that would happen is that they would tell me to remove it. Anyone who has a tattoo is judged right away by my parents...its either drug dealer, thief, gangster and so on. That to be is sad because NOT every person who has a tattoo is that. A 2006 a study done by the Journal of the American Academy of Dermatology found that 24 percent of Americans between 18 and 50 are tattooed; that's almost one in four. And the survey showed that about 36 percent of Americans age 18 to 29 have at least one tattoo!Make no mistake about it, the tattoo industry is hot property. There are an estimated more than 20,000 parlors operating in the United States, according to a U.S. News & World Report article, which said, on the average, an establishment is being added in the country every day. The article ranked tattooing as the sixth fastest growing retail venture of the 1990s, right behind Internet, paging services, bagels, computer and cellular phone service

National survey of adults shows that Democrats more likely to have tattoos, but regret for getting them is highest among Republicans.
A recent Harris Poll finds that 16% of all adults have at least one tattoo. The highest incidence of tattoos was found among the gay, lesbian and bisexual population (31 percent) and among Americans ages 25 to 29 years (36 percent) and 30 to 39 years (28 percent). Regionally, people living in the West (20 percent) are more likely to have tattoos.

Democrats are more likely to have tattoos (18 percent) than Republicans (14 percent) and Independents (12 percent) while nearly equal percentages of males (16 percent) and females (15 percent) have tattoos.

This survey was conducted online between July 14 and 20, 2003 by Harris Interactive(R) among a nationwide sample of 2,215 adults.

How do tattoos make people feel?
Among Americans with tattoos, 34 percent said having a tattoo has made them feel sexier. Interestingly, more tattooed females (42 percent) feel this way than males (25 percent).

Additionally, those with tattoos said that having a tattoo has made them feel more rebellious (29 percent) while others said a tattoo makes them feel more attractive (26 percent). But tattoos apparently won't do much for your intelligence or your physique, as few Americans reported that tattoos make them feel more intelligent (5 percent ), more healthy (4 percent), or more athletic (3 percent).

How do people without tattoos feel about those with them?
Many Americans who do not have tattoos said they think that people with tattoos are less attractive (42 percent), less sexy (36 percent) and less intelligent (31 percent). They also think that those with tattoos are more rebellious (57 percent). In contrast, only 29 percent of those with tattoos think they are more rebellious.

Do people regret getting tattoos?
A majority of Americans with tattoos (83 percent) do not regret getting them, while 17 percent do feel regret. The survey found that regret for getting a tattoo was highest among tattooed Republicans (24 percent) and among those living in the South (21 percent). And, the reason cited most often for feeling regret about getting tattoos was "because of the person's name in the tattoo" (16 percent).

So, I would get it.

Monday, June 4, 2007

Books by Baron


The following two books I highly recommend that you, the audience, read because these books have been the center piece of my continued yoga practice. Baron Baptiste of the Baptiste Power Yoga Institute has the details down to a tee with what makes yoga a common practice among celebrities but more than that it is that Baptiste, himself, who is within the pages shows and explains the moves and benefits of the poses.

I have these books and I know that they have benefited me because I don't want to lose the connection I have with yoga itself. That's why these books mattered. IF you don't know what yoga is then don't assume you know because I had the same attitude. There is a lot of work involved just like with anything you do.

I get a history lesson about El Salvador


My class IS cancelled. I do. And it happened today. Oh, well, I have work to get to. I have some news for my Talon Marks family out there. I am currently working on a 1200-word story about the 1979 Civil War of El Salvador. Thank goodness for one thing: my parents are from El Salvador and just before both left for Florida I had a question. And that was at the time of the war where was the country economically speaking. And it is good to know that my parents remembered what happened during that period. I thought that I would get their point of view of what happened to this Central American country. Well, I know one thing it is good that they helped me out.

Anyway, as I sit here look and typing on the computer I was bored and looked at the following CDs that will be reviewed on my other two blog Air-wave and Air-wave Blog 2.I hope you don't mind that I share this with you since I am sitting here looking at the screen.

Music to keep me entertained


I have been completely bored. No, wait I can't say that. I have been entertained by the fact that I wait for my class to start and I am also waiting for my parents to come home. They have been out of town so, I've asummed the responsibility of keeping the house clean. But at least I have something to keep me up while I wait.

Oh, well, I better get ready to talk it's my turn to speak in my class about what we've discussed. I will see you later.